A colleague forwarded this to me and I thought this is really apt since most of my dear friends would have just started working. And I believe that everyone will be fighting to build career and putting in super long hours. Even for those who are studying, all the work are going to occupy a lot of our time. Please take some time to spend with your family members. You seriously will not know what is going to happen tomorrow and I am sure you do not want to regret not having spent more time with them.
Anyway, here is the article for your reading pleasure. I hope I have not infringed any copy right.
Overwork: The socially acceptable addiction
By Chua Mui Hoong
THIS is the day you should stop work early, head home, whip up some yummy dishes for your kids and have dinner at home. It's Eat With Your Family Day today.
Tomorrow marks the start of a month-long calendar of activities to celebrate families, an annual fiesta organised by the National Family Council.
Chances are, you didn't know all that. Chances are, you'll be working late again tonight. Chances are, you'll say it can't be helped and anyway you can have dinner with your family and kids some other time.
Which are all true.
Except that often, that 'any time' becomes tomorrow, next week, next month - and before you know it, it's three months and you haven't made it home for dinner.
And one day you leave the office early because you're so sick that all your colleagues beg you to go back so they won't catch your nasty virus; you walk out of the building to your car, look around and wonder why things look so different - and you realise that, hey, it has been months since it was still light when you knocked off work.
Many career-minded professionals I know would identify with the feelings above.
But chances are, most would shrug it off as the nature of things, just the way things are in hard-driving, hard-driven Singapore.
But they would be wrong.
Many Singaporeans are hardworking. But some routinely clock in 12- to 14-hour workdays and remain glued to their Blackberries on weekends and holidays.
What they don't know is that hard work can cross the line easily into overwork. And that overwork is a disease that causes havoc in one's personal life.
At its extreme, it can kill.
Last week, I wrote in The Sunday Times about infidelity as a threat to happy marriages. One comment on this issue came from an astute woman, who said that infidelity takes many forms - and that work is the 'mistress' of many Singaporean husbands.
In fact, overwork is an even more insidious destroyer of families because it disguises itself as responsible breadwinning behaviour.
The key is to recognise when the line between hard work and overwork gets crossed.
To me, hard work is putting in effort to do your job the best you can - but without sacrificing your own health or mental well-being, and without sacrificing your closest relationships.
Things usually start well.
You love what you do. You're talented at it. You don't mind the long hours and the unpredictable weekends that get burnt to finish up a project.
Yet another year rolls by when you celebrate your birthday, or your wedding anniversary, at your desk - and you shrug it off.
It's just another day, after all. You can make it up to her, or him, some other time.
You miss your children's milestone events. Soon, you're scheduling all your family time around the spare slots you have on your work calendar.
Can't take a vacation in June, there're all these board meetings. Not in July either - it's the mid-year stock take. August is terrible as all the ang mohs go away for their summer leave, leaving us locals to carry the load. September is when next year's strategic review takes place.
And before you know it, another year has gone by, you haven't taken a proper break with family or friends - and the whole cycle repeats itself.
Those caught up in this cycle think it's okay because they get well rewarded as the responsibilities pile on.
I know because I once subscribed to that workaholic ethic.
In my 20s, I was as achievement-oriented as they come. Fourteen-hour days didn't faze me. I used to volunteer for weekend duty. I loved the thrill of travelling on back-to-back overseas assignments. Birthdays and Christmases were just another work day.
As my regular readers know, my wake-up call was a cancer diagnosis at 33. I'm in remission now, but I have learnt to approach work differently: not as the be-all and end-all of my life, but as a purposeful activity I enjoy but won't sacrifice health and family for.
What workaholics fail to see is that work can be an addiction.
But unlike more common addictions like gambling or pornography, they get rewarded and praised for indulging in their addiction to work.
Not for nothing is workaholism called the 'socially acceptable addiction'.
How does one know if one's capacity for hard work is actually addiction to overwork in disguise?
Litmus test 1: When those closest and nearest to you start to tell you so, or worse, start to discount you from their plans.
When your spouse complains of neglect. When your kids stop asking you to play with them because 'Mummy's always busy'. When relatives stop inviting you to gatherings because they know you'd never make it anyway.
But, as with any addiction, the common response to others' concern is denial and externalising of blame.
Of course you're not a workaholic, you reason. Why, you just spent the morning on the golf course (never mind that it was with colleagues, talking about work).
You don't have a problem. The problem lies with your family, who don't appreciate your hard work to give them a good life and, worse, are being so demanding.
This denial is common with addicts.
Those closest to us are often the first to recognise the symptoms of addiction and to urge change. Addicts avoid these people as they don't wish to give up their addiction.
Litmus test 2: What do you do on your days off and vacation? If you head back to your office to 'catch up' on work undone, you have a problem.
An article in The New York Times last year on this issue noted: 'Chances are you're a workaholic if you feel compelled to work for the sake of working and you feel panic, anxiety or a sense of loss when you aren't working.'
Another good reality check: When was the last time you had a weekday dinner with your family?
If it was more than a month ago, you could do worse than head back home to Eat With Your Family today.
Aiyo... there is not need to fight for your diploma. Everyone gets ur share... Provided you work hard lah. My brother nv work hard enough so now have to fight with his friend for the diploma. tsk tsk...
My cousin's wedding. Took all shots of weird photos.. although I was not feeling well and contemplated not going, I was glad I still went coz I had a lot of fun. Simply love my cousins...
As usual, chinese wedding starts late. I am so hungry that I wanted to eat up my cousin...
Was so bored that I tired to take some artistic shots. Also took the chance to take photos with all my cousins, uncles and aunties.
The pretties and hunks sitting with me...
My parents. I think they are hoping that we all get married soon too. Sian...
Gathering at the second table. We had a third table but the photo ain't with me...
Well.. Chinese Wedding is very boring.. as usual.. so we decided to self entertain..
OH god... cutie cutie...
From daylight...
To sunset...
