yanling is so messed up!

Okay.. this is so irritating. I am complaining again. Recently I’ve stopped reading blogs coz they make me feel so depressed. Even children are getting a life, going out and having fun. And my friends are all planning graduation trips to wonderful places like Korea and Japan. Even my broke-est friend has already booked a trip to some nearby island. And the others are already planning for their future at least, applying of PhD, going for job interviews. Even my not-yet-graduating friend is going for an exciting summer program? Well.. what have I done?

My life is in a mess. I have no time to do anything and I do not know where my time went. Mummy has yet to allow me to go for my lasik and I have yet to decide where to get the money for it since I am so damn broke. As I am so broke, I am not planning for a graduation trip, And even if I have money, I still owe people money and I want to settle it asap. But even when I am so damn broke, I kept running late and have to keep taking taxis. I have never taken so many taxis in such a short period of time. Also, I have not applied for anything except MISE and I am not looking out for anything simply because I have no idea what I want!

My relationship is in a damn big mess and I really do not want to think about it. Our anniversary is coming up and I dunno what to buy or make for him. And I owe him a v-day present.

My complexion is in a mess.. again…

And FYP is also in a mess. I have not touched my thesis yet nor did I do anything on my presentation due next Monday. I have no idea what to write for me thesis and I am getting so damn sian of the project that I just do not feel like coming everyday. And as I am so busy with dunno what, I am getting a hard time planning experiments, especially long ones such as my protein purification. I am even contemplating staying overnight in school. Argh!!

And st john is also in a big mess! They actually mis-calculated the results for the competition and I heard that it was a super big margin. I have yet to get the results yet but I am sure I am going to sc**w them upside down after they announced it. And because of that, I have no idea how to go about planning my teams to train for Nat Com! But I do not care, I am going to assume I do not know anything. Sigh, and talking about this, I have yet to ask neither the teacher nor the trainees if the schedule is alright with them and I have a meeting coming up!

I’ve noticed that I am getting slacker and slacker day by day. Maybe coz I am getting older and I simply do not feel like doing anything at all. And I realized that I am beginning to behave like the old people in St Johhn. All talk and no action. I must start fulfilling my promises! Many a time, I said that I will arrange something and I forgot about it in the end. Sigh….

Oh god…WHOLE BIG MESS! I am so depressed.

from bored and sian to feeling better. happy? coming soon..

well.. a couple of days back, i was feeling damn down and damn sian. my dear was not in town and there isn't anyone for me to talk to. speaking of which, i was damn guilty of looking for him only when i am sad and where was i when he was not feeling great?

anyway, my dear is now back from france and brought me some trinklets. I got a super nice keychain that is PINK! and a gorgeous white LV coin pouch and 2 boxes of chocolates. Well, i seriously dun care but he buys as long as he thought of me while he was away can already. =) but now that he is back, i have to go back to being a good girl. Not like i was naughty when he was around, but it seriously felt good not having to report my whereabouts all the time. =) Do not get me wrong, i still love him a lot. But sometimes i really wished i had my freedom.

I guess life is so boring now. with CNY over, and FYP thesis coming up.. everyone is damn stressed up. i am looking forward to a break but to where and with who? i am going for my lasik (i am. Although mummy objects. i will find a way to convince her) so i am going to de damn broke. maybe i should go nearby places like redang? the place is so damn pretty.. i really want to go... well.. see how ba..

Last but not least, i want to congratulate my dear juniors for having won the First Aid Competition. They have not failed us. I am so proud of them. Well Done!