deja vu feeling

Why do i feel that despite years of seeing each other everyday but our chemistry is still not as strong or even non-existent. Something wrong with me?

Sometimes I can get really anti-social but I am really a very 群居 animal and i cannot stand doing things alone. But time and time again, i found myself doing things alone. I feel so lonely.

I finally appreciate my friends more now. I think I used to take them for granted but not anymore.

Oh.. i missed Hoi Tung and En En with all the Long John Silver days. All the neo print days and St John days.

I missed the pigs with all the training days and all the st john gals with all the silly things we do.

I missed Pey Yng and Qiulin who always help me to buy food when I have to skip lunch to do homework and who always help me with my work. I missed Liyong, Yong Kiat, Wei Liang, Xiaodun, Yu Juan, Zhang Hua and many more ppl who always helped me with my work esp physics and will never look down on me no matter how stupid my questions can do and when its obvious that i never listen in class.

I missed the pretty girls with all the stupid things in 1st 3 months. I missed Ting, Eli and Huimin who always slack with me but will force me to study but never told me that i deserve my bad results. I missed Kai Er, Eng Ying and Jenny for all the swimming and basketball. I missed Wei Theng who helped me with my work a lot but never scold me for asking so much stupid questions and dun give me tt kind of stupid look.

Ohhhhhh.... i jus missed those days. I really hate my life now.... feeling so sorry for myself...

humans

is it something wrong with that person (A) or me? Maybe i am too sensitive. But why do i feel like A very bu shuang me? I know i very parasitic but i dun think A need to do this to me loh. A was talking so nicely to someone den when i tried to help, A tone changed when talking to me. Like trying to tell me: What do you know?

Wah lau.. so pissed off. I hate it when ppl look down on me.

Irritated.

What's wrong with our education system?

Today my friend had her hp stolen. Right under her nose in the school library!! She left her hp on the table and took a short nap. When she woke up, her phone was gone. When her friend helped her to call her phone, it was off, indicating that someone has off her phone. Except for students, no one will enter that place loh.....

Usually i also leave my stuff on my table when i take a nap. I thought that as i was ard, i dun think anyone will dare to steal like this. Looks like i was very wrong. Unless you lock them up, all things can go missing.

I am so disgusted!! Even uni students steal!! OMG... what was wrong with our education system? How can someone who is so highly educated be so immoral? Stealing is wrong and somemore stealing under her nose?? Oh my...... sigh....

birthday updates...

hi all.. this post has been moved to here.

coz i realised that i do not want everyone to find out abt my blog.... so i shall have a new blog for my birthday...

To be or not to be?

Forgot to blog abt this on Sunday. Recently in quite a bloggy mood.

Jac, jy and me decided that we want to run Basic NCO for the cadets this year. The problem is, I have to be the chairperson since i am the most senior because i passed my OTC 2 years earlier than them.

I am very apprehensive about taking on this post. To begin with, jac n jy have more experience with NCO course than me. Besides, i am jus a small fly in the zone. All the chairpersons so far are senior officers. Whether the Zone will allow me to be chairperson is still a question. Another thing is commitment. Will i be able to spare the time? I have to really balance school and meetings as the course starts in my exam month meaning that i have to study and plan at the same time. Can i do it?

Should I or should i not take on the challenge? The idea of running the course is so exciting as i finally have control over the quality of the course. In the past, I always have comments about sending my cadets to terrible courses. But actually, what i am worried about is that i will make the same kind of mistakes that I've seen others made.

I stopped helping out in NCO course after the second time coz i was very disappointed with the chairperson. He was one of my most respected officer but he was a bad chairperson. I am so worried that i would be like him. In the end, i will jeapardise my relationship with my peers and lose all the respect from my juniors.

I am really so unsure of myself.

today's a happening day

today very happening. Let's start from the morning..

9.30am: lab class. The lecturer was very cool. He never post protocol and we have to download on the spot so I did not get to print it out. After a short introduction, he made us continue the prac on our own, assuming that we rmb everything and need to hand in report. We all do very slowly den last qn cannot finish. Had to go home and continue coz got another lab class at 12.30pm.

12.30pm: fly to lib 1 to print 301. Only got 23 slides this time. Got so many ppl at the printing shop tt the queue was outside the lib. Luckily i got my fren to help me get lunch and by the time i got back to school, i have 15 mins to take my lunch.

1.30pm: My dreaded lecture... BS301. Today guest lecturer again. Guess wat? He only finish ard 10 slides today and let us go early!!!! OMG!! I really dun think I've learnt anything except for the history of neuroscience. shit lah.. 301 is dead.

3pm: Go dentist take out my stitches. I was quite scared initially coz i tot would be quite painful. Hmm.. not very painful but it hurts quite a bit when he cut the strings. Scary. Now still got hole and i can feel with my tongue but should heal soon.

From here on i forgot wat time liao. Should be around 4pm. After dentist, huimin and i went to buy ting's present. hehe.. in case ting's reading this so i shall not disclose the present yet. At first we walked the whole of JP but cannot find. So in the end we went orchard to see. Actually our original intention was to print my invitation cards. (",)

We took bus to orchard and saw something that dishonoured HCJC's reputation. Initially I saw a HC student hugging her bf in public. She din have her badge on but the line in front of the shirt gave her away. I am very much against PDA (public display of affection) in school uniforms, no matter how old you can be. SO i was already pretty disgusted. Den they took same bus as us and guessed what!! They were hugging and french kissing on the bus!!! Such a disgrace... If you cannot respect yourself, please at least respect the uniform.

I am proud to say that i respect my uniform a lot. All these years that i was with hz, I only held his hand ONCE in my school uniform and that was coz i was trying to be rebellious. (",) Other than that, if i know i was going to meet him, i will go home and change or else no holding hands or anything.

Anyway, we reached Orchard and the search for ting's present continue. We were at Swarovski at Paragon when i saw this!!

MY god!!! It is so pretty!! It's mickey mouse and it's crystal. Shit loh... fell in love liao.. but its so damn expensive. Cost a whooping $449 for a 10cm figurine. For closer look can visit Swarovski. Wow.... very very nice and that's a whole series with Disney characters. I am a big fan of Disney especially mickey mouse. My greatest dream was to visit Disneyland...

Anyway, we managed to find ting's present in the end. Very ex but its okay lah.. Who ask her to be my good fren? So ting u better like it ok? If not huimin n i will be very sad one...

So after ting's present, we made our way to peace centre finally but sian... shop closed liao. I was very sian but huimin says we should go try the very nice 豆花 so we crossed the road. And i dunno wat was wrong with us, we crossed during the Red Man but we never pay attention to the on-coming cars. A car was like 10 cm away from us and horned when we realised tt the cars are coming. So scary... i saw the car coming but i did not have time to react. As huimin was nearer to car, i shouted her name first even before i thought of pulling her away. Think she was shocked by my shout and the car. I was shocked too. Luckily the car stopped in time or else... ew....

But we managed to make it to the shop for 豆花. It's really pretty nice leh. Soooo soft and smooth. But it's so weird loh.. we had dessert before our meal coz we had chicken rice after 豆花. The chicken rice is a very nice one too. Except for the fact that huimin was traumatised by a cat beside our table, our dinner was rather peaceful.

After food, it's home sweet home. And on the bus home. I met JOVEN!! haha.. so 巧. Met her only yesterday and i thought that it would be very long before i get to see her again and yet i met her the next day. Maybe i will meet ailing tmr or something?

Nothing happened on the way home and so that ends my happening day. Tmr morn got no lecture so i can go to school late. Maybe i can go and print my cards or help ailing buy watch den make my way to school. But have to depend on wat time i wake up coz this weekend i was super deprived of sleep.... tired...

my very pretty CPR chart

haha... i very long nv run chart already.. today play cheat a bit on the ventilation and got a very very pretty chart. haha..... so proud of myself.

last day of holidays

sigh.. today is the last day of my 1 week holiday and mid autumn festival. And guess how i spent my day? Not at home doing homework nor am i playing with candles and lanterns. I was at St John headquarters!!! For nearly a whole day from morn till the evening.

Today was walkathon mah. Zone 9 was the organiser this year so i had to reach HQ at 7am for a briefing. It was raining very heavily when i got out of the house and was still raining at Lavender. So i braced the heavy rain and got to HQ at 715am. In the end, no briefing loh and i got my shoes and pants all wet and dirty. Irritating....

Anyway, trouble not finished yet. So heavy rain right? seems like my handphone does not agree with the rain and decided not to work. wah lao eh... sms come in i also cannot read. Thanks a lot to jac who loan me a phone for the remaining of the day. Not only that, she also helped me send my phone for servicing and waited 4 hrs to collect it for me. She even helped me bought socks. *muacks*..

Well, i cant send it for servicing on my own coz i have public BLS class. Its actually a complete CPR class for the public. Got pay lah.. but it's very hard work. Den got this candidate refuses to leave after many tries. In the end we all stayed till very late loh. Supposed to end at 530pm but in the end i left at 730pm and the rest left at 8pm.

So i was terribly late for my meeting with ailing n jov at holland v at 630pm so i took cab now. Very cheap leh. From HQ to there only $7.10. We had dinner at Essentials Brew. A very nice place.. next time gotta bring my friends there. A little on the ex side but its very cosy and can sit and chat. Somemore sit on the floor leh. So fun.. haha...

tmr still got lab in the morn.. so sian.. sigh.. end of holidays and no more mid autumn festival..

some updates

more time to blog now coz it's recess week. But it ending soon and i din do any studying at all.. omg.. sigh...

anyway, a couple of days back i was trying to be a nice daughter and wanted to wash my own jacket and lab coat. Since i was lazy to hand wash ( i already hand washed a lot of other clothes before this), i decided to throw them into the washing machine together with some other clothes.. BUT BUT.. haha.. i very cleverly forgot to add washing powder but i only realised it after the washing was finished coz the clothes smelled weird. So in the end i wasted mummy's water and have to wash the clothes all over again.

Last night I went for 7A gathering. This time we set it in NUS since most of our class ppl are there for class. Hmm... Turnout not too bad lah.. ard 10 plus ppl. We went Munchie Monkey for dinner. The pasta not that fantastic but the brownie very very niceeeeeeeeeeeee. I want to go back and try again. After dinner at proper table, we decided to change to their sofa to chat since long tables dun encourage conversation. But from our original location, we changed seat to another sofa coz it was too cold. So we sat there and chat about a lot of things. Some are qutie disgusting coz we were discussing innovative ways to murder ppl. OMG.. so disgusting.. haha... but the good part about discussion was that i get a banner for my birthday!! yeah! thanks huimin n rena!

And since a fren of mine had to leave early, another fren n me decided to accompany her out to the bus stop since it was quite dark. Along the way, my fren's back knocked into a pregnant lady. Den we kept looking at her, worried abt whether she would be fine coz she was very pregnant. But i think we looked too much den her hubby came along and shouted at us whether that was a problem. At first hm commented that the girl looked young but I nv notice anything. Until the guy's violent reaction, everything fell into place. Anyway, dun wanna gossip too much lah. But i urge anyone who wants to do it to use contraceptives ok? Not only to prevent unwanted pregancies, but also AIDS. (",)

tmr got tuition.. sian... sunday whole day with st john.. sian.. but i get to meet joven!! yeah.. looking forward to it.

My birthday!

hey ppl!

look at the top of the page.. haha.. i added a ticker to count-down my 21st birthday. Feeling excited and sad at the same time. I am excited coz i am having a birthday party! After like 9 years coz my last party was when i was 12. Sad coz i am getting old... *sob sob*

But anyway, i am looking forward to my party! Look out for my invitation!

Quite an experience

today was quite a fufilling day. I went to school at 830 am today to hand in my 305 assignment. Luckily the box was still around. And the traffic was so great coz its the term break and no sane person will be going to school. No long queue at 8am!! I am going to miss it once school starts.

Anyway, after handing in my report, i went to lib 2 to photocopy 303 n 304 reading materials. Oso very shiok coz no need to fight with ppl for the books and there isn't anyone at the photocopy shop den i can take my own sweet time to photocopy. After that i went macdonalds to get breakfast. Haha.. so niceeeeee.. very long nv eat mac breakfast liao.

After breakfast i wanted to start editing Fundamental Neuroscience's mistakes but i realised that i cannot access the site from the school. OMG... seems like they blocked it loh... sian... in the end i brought the big n heavy book to sch for nothing.

So after rotting in front of the computer for a while, i decided to see the dentist for my swollen gums. And guessed what i did?? I decided to take out my wisdom tooth there and then. So i sat there, without much preparation and sat through the mini operation. Was quite scared actually but it turned out to be rather fine.

It was quite an experience actually. I have never had anesthetic before and this time i had a local one and one side of my mouth felt so weird. My tongue fell swollen and my lips dun feel like they are there. Anyway, the whole thing was pretty fast. My tooth came out in less then 15mins and it was in a one whole piece. I even took it home. Haha... At first i was so worried that once the anesthetic effect wear off i will hurt like mad. But now, nearly 5 hrs after the jab, i am still feeling very well. The only thing is that i cannot open my mouth too wide. I hope it will not start to hurt over these few days. Anyway, I am going to remove the stitches next monday and i will have 1 less tooth, less wisdom and less money. Sigh...

SBS sucks!!

what the hell am i doing in such a school paying so much and getting so unhappy?? argh!! i hate my lecturers!! what the hell is wrong with them? Either they cannot teach, cannot post lecture notes properly at a humane time or they simply sucks. argh!!

To think i was still so sure that NTU would be better than NUS. I should have just gone NUS. At least i know a lot of ppl there.

Feeling so unhappy....................