To be or not to be?

Forgot to blog abt this on Sunday. Recently in quite a bloggy mood.

Jac, jy and me decided that we want to run Basic NCO for the cadets this year. The problem is, I have to be the chairperson since i am the most senior because i passed my OTC 2 years earlier than them.

I am very apprehensive about taking on this post. To begin with, jac n jy have more experience with NCO course than me. Besides, i am jus a small fly in the zone. All the chairpersons so far are senior officers. Whether the Zone will allow me to be chairperson is still a question. Another thing is commitment. Will i be able to spare the time? I have to really balance school and meetings as the course starts in my exam month meaning that i have to study and plan at the same time. Can i do it?

Should I or should i not take on the challenge? The idea of running the course is so exciting as i finally have control over the quality of the course. In the past, I always have comments about sending my cadets to terrible courses. But actually, what i am worried about is that i will make the same kind of mistakes that I've seen others made.

I stopped helping out in NCO course after the second time coz i was very disappointed with the chairperson. He was one of my most respected officer but he was a bad chairperson. I am so worried that i would be like him. In the end, i will jeapardise my relationship with my peers and lose all the respect from my juniors.

I am really so unsure of myself.