school?

very long nv blog liao.. jus tot that i should post something... recently i dunno wat's wrong with me.. i very anti social.. so stressed over something which i dun even know is wat. most probably school and all the lab reports and rubbish lah..

Den i not only anti-social.. i am becoming very mean. I seem to dun like something abt ppl who are around me. Anyone talk to me abt something in school i can jus find something to bu shuang abt. I nv tell anyone but i jus sub-consciously criticise that person.. I am so horribly mean. I think i am jus doing this to make myself feel better.

Exams are coming.. and i haven really understood wat is going on in class. I have not been doing a lot of tut this semester and my CA so poor.. My friend got A den i got C... =(.. very sad leh... sigh.... dunno wat to do abt it.. i dun like to do homework with my friends.. i like to do things as and when i feel like it. Whenever we have longer breaks, they will do homework den if i dun feel like doing then, i get pissed off by wat they are all doing den i dun feel like doing even after that.

Den recently a friend's present made me very bu shuang with a friend. I have another friend A, who knows this friend,B, too so she suggest that we get a present together. I dun mind since we can get a better present for her plus we dunno wat to buy too. Den when i asked my friends, C said that we got so many ppl can get her something den each pay abt 20. i was thinkg that its so expensive loh.. she mad ah.. think that everyone will want to spend so much money on HER good friend.. Yes, we are friends. In fact, i knew that gal since sec 1.. but even though we are in the same clique.. you are not on equal terms with everyone mah. There has got to be someone that you are closer to. Den i was trying to explain this concept to C and she dun understand why would us not be willing to spend the money when we are together everyday and are suppposed to be "good friends". I dun mind the money but wat i am bu shuang abt is tt C is a very thrifty person( i wun say niao k?) so whenever we buy present for others friends, the budget is always $5 each. Den now she willingly to pay $20 coz its for her good friend. I feel like she is trying to get her something at the expense of us. I might be too sensitive or it could be that i am too stressed so i get very bu shuang easily abt things.. Luckily my other friends tot that 20 was too ex. Anyway, another friend D says that its better for us to get our own present. BUT we dun even know at to get loh!! sigh.. den if we share we can get a good present den each dun have to pay so much. I dun care liao lah.. they shall go n think of wat to buy den i pay only.

And talking abt D, i bu shuang her quite a long while ago. I dunno wat triggered it oso.. but we have been taking some classes together den somehow , as we get to spend more time together, i started to think that she's very fake. Sometimes when she talks, i somehow feel that there is always hidden meanings behind wat she's saying and sometimes she ask questions like jus to create conversation and give me a feeling like she's simply trying to get close to you. Recently i have noticed that she's more hardworking and keeps getting close to ppl with good results... The more i see, the more turn off i get... So fake...........

Sigh... now can understand how come i am not happy here. School not fufilling and social life so full of grumbles.. sigh....................