she's free now

my po po(mother's mum) passed away today at noon. Sigh.... cry? sad? yes.. but somehow i am so relieved. Coz she's finally not suffering anymore.

She first got a stroke in 2000 and at first she can still talk and recognise us. But gradually, over the years, she was confined to bed and cannot talk or recognise us anymore. Last month, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Doctor say cannot operate coz she was too weak. So we literally are waiting for her to go. Last Friday, her body swollen but doctor refused to admit her coz he says he cannot help her also. So we moved her from my uncle's place back to her own house and were literally preparing for her funeral already.

This morn daddy scared me out of my sleep, saying that po po is critical so we went over. Den i sat there and watched her breathing got slower and her pulse getting weaker. Finally, she let go at noon. Even though we expected it but everyone was still very sad.

She used to dote on us a lot even thou she always scold us. But before she got a stroke, she always bring my siblings and me to the provision shop and buy ice cream for us. And her house is always properly "stocked" with toys. I always rmb that the first thing we do when we got to her house is to sneak underneath the 神台 where all the toys are and start playing until mummy nagged us to greet granny and grandpa. That was very long ago. As we got older, our weekly visits got lesser and lesser until we only go there a couple of times a year. Feel so bad...

Anyway, i am still glad that at least she's relieved. I cannot stand seeing her in such pain and cannot do anything abt it.

Bye bye granny! You will always be in our hearts...